Shamian Island More Like Cry-Me-An Island

Happy Mother's Day! Especially to our moms! For the second year in a row, we are unable to all be together. Last year was the day before Magnus's heart surgery and we were in Boston. Hopefully these last two have been anomalies and we can spend many together in the future. We love you more than you will ever know and are eternally grateful for the sacrifices that you have made to help and guide us, not just as children, but continue even to this day.

Here are the boys telling their mommy how much they love her!

Today was not the ideal Mother's Day here in China though.  Unfortunately, the boys just had a rough day of whining, complaining, fighting, and more. They are becoming quite competitive for their mommy and only want to be held by her when we are out and about. Attachment is a good thing in the adoption world so it is important for Apollo to really feel connected, even if it is primarily with Dana. Unfortunately, it is also common for another adopted child to regress, which is what we are seeing from Magnus. He is throwing somewhere in the ballpark of 400% more tantrums here in China. I think most people assume he is the one currently being adopted by the way he is acting.  I think this picture sums up our morning at Memorial Hall and Shamian Island pretty well.

We were able to attend a Christian church service (where we asked "Lord help us!") that they have on the island. The island is quite beautiful with lots of picturesque buildings and statues. The boys were just having none of it so we had some lunch and headed back. Don't let the smiling pictures fool you, they were not enjoying themselves!

 

 
 

Yes little bronze girl, I think he is wringing his neck! 

After getting the boys down for a nap, we decided a swim might change our fortunes and it worked!  

 
 

We understand that adoption isn't easy and there will be good days and bad days. One man asked Apollo today why he doesn't look like his parents (jerk!) and he responded in Chinese, because I am from an orphanage. This about broke Dana. Our little warriors are fighting more than just their heart conditions, they have to fight to make sense out of this crazy world. We will just keep loving them and do the best that we can! 

Every year for Mother's Day, I write poems for Dana from the standpoint of each of our children. For the 10th consecutive year, I brought her to tears (which is always my goal). Here is Apollo's - 

Though we are still learning each other

I feel real connection

We will write many chapters in our book together

This is only our first section.

Thank you for fighting for me

My heart needs some fixin

Please forgive any messes I make

Or when I'm a little dickens.

I know this next year will be hard

Much harder than I'd like to think

But with you holding my little blue fingers

We will try to turn them pink

I'm so happy that you found me

Now I have a fighting chance

That some day I will get married

And share with you a Mother and Son dance.

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From Dana - 

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mamas out there, especially the ones closest to my heart - my mom, Mike's mom, my grandma, and the boys' birth mothers. Our moms and my grandma know how much they are adored, appreciated, and loved but I wish the same could be said for Magnus's and Apollo's birth moms. These selfless and brave women will forever be dear to my heart as I raise our sons with them always in mind. I would want them to be proud of the job I've done so I am mothering with two additional hearts in tow.

Those who know me well know I am a very transparent person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my thoughts are difficult to hide behind my big facial expressions. I'm not sure if you can tell but this adoption trip, and journey overall, is very different this second time around. Adoption is HARD. It is not for the weak of heart or spirit. Previously I thought I understood, but now understand with certainty, that it is much harder when your newly adopted child is older. Does it change anything? No. Would we do it again? Yes. Is he amazing? Yes. Is he worth it? Yes.

Today hasn't been the ideal Mother's Day and that's ok. We had some really great moments and I will hold onto those and store them in the little memory bank I have. The many not-so-great memories of the day will drift off to a faraway land to be forgotten. A huge part of my heart is back in the states with our girls and I couldn't be ANY more anxious to wrap my arms around them and not let go! If there is any part of me that's great, it's because of them. So if you see our beauties this week, please hug them and tell them how special they are to their mama who is counting down the days until I can kiss those precious faces again and again and again (in 6 days to be exact!)!