At the beginning of our adoption process, I came across a web site full of inspirational stories of children with congenital heart defects who were adopted from China. Late night after late night, I was glued to my phone reading story after story with tears streaming down my face. These tiny but brave warriors, with battle scars no child should ever bare, fueled the fire God had ignited in me. I knew He led me to these stories for they would change our world forever and lead us to Magnus. This year, I was happy to contribute on February 26th to celebrate American Heart month! Here is Magnus's heart story from www.28daysofhearts.com.
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Magnus Michael KeQin
On September 3rd 2015, my eyes fixated on a picture of one
of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen. I gasped out loud as I knew in
that instant I was looking at my child. My husband, Mike, and I had already
decided to wait to be matched by our adoption agency but on that special day,
it all changed. And thank goodness it did! Dressed in a mismatched outfit with a pink blanket in the background,
I assumed this gorgeous child was a girl but as I looked down at the advocacy
name of “Forrest”, I knew in fact that he was a boy. Oh heavens, a boy! Surely
that would shake things up in our home as we had three daughters with lots of
bows and tutus to match! I read the short description about his age,
personality, and special need, and there it was in black and white…complex congenital
heart defects. The exact words God had placed on our hearts earlier that year.
You see, when we started the adoption process months
beforehand, we thought we wanted to grow our family with a child “as young as
possible with a minor special need”. That’s what we told our social worker at
our first home study visit. As the days and weeks passed, we realized God was
calling us to a child with CHD. Starting with a soft whisper in our ears, we
heard Him speaking straight to our hearts that our child would have a little, broken
heart. Our family, friends, and even our social worker were all concerned as we
changed our medical needs checklist to include minor and moderate cardiac
needs. But with an assuring nod to each other, we knew this was the path the
Lord intended for us to follow. We continued the paper chasing portion of the process
while keeping busy with our sweet daughters, Anya who was 8 years old, and
Eliza and Juliette who were 5 years old. We worked as fast we could on
paperwork, home visits, and appointments, always keeping in mind that there was
a little hand waiting to be held half-way around the world.
By the beginning of September, our dossier was almost
complete and we were waiting on immigration approval when I “accidentally” but
thankfully came across that picture which would change our lives forever. I
called Mike immediately and asked if I could request “Forrest’s” file as well
as another heart warrior’s whom were both listed with WACAP. Shockingly, he
said yes and we received them the next day. We excitedly and impatiently waited
to look through them until after the girls had fallen asleep that night. I knew
in my heart that “Forrest” was our son so we decided to open his file first and
never ended up looking at the other boy’s file (who later would be adopted by a
wonderful family!).
Without knowing any cardiac medical terminology, we
researched each heart defect – transposition of the great arteries, double
outlet right ventricle, atrial septal defect, ventricular septal defect, and
severe pulmonary stenosis. With tears streaming down our faces, we realized how
serious his cardiac needs were and that he needed immediate life-saving heart
surgery. We cried throughout the evening as we discussed what this would mean
for him and for our family. Without knowing if his heart could be fully repaired,
we talked through having to settle for palliative surgeries and possibly
burying a son. What would that do to our daughters? To us? The questions
continued but each was met with “he is worth it”. He is worth every ounce of
fight, pain, and sorrow. Come what may, he is WORTH it! And in that moment, our
minds were made up no matter what anyone would tell us. We had found our son! Since
we were required to have at least one physician review the file, we sent it to
cardiologists at both Boston Children’s Hospital and St. Louis Children’s
Hospital. We were told he may be a candidate for a full bi-ventricular repair
but we wouldn’t know with certainty until he was home and could undergo
testing. We were given so much HOPE for this precious boy!
With an extra pep in our steps, hearts bursting, and prides
swelling, we signed our letter of intent to adopt our first son. We switched
agencies and expedited the process to bring him home. We kept him a secret for
an entire month (aka eternity!), not sharing our exciting news with anyone but
our family photographer. We told our daughters we were going to have an
adoption photo shoot with some cute props but little did they know we were
going to give them the surprise of a lifetime! One even better than the time we
told them we were going to Disney World that same day. It was a memorable
afternoon filled with jaw drops, giggles, smiles as wide as their faces, and
tears from Mike and me. From that day forward, the girls told anyone willing to
listen about their brother – from friends at school to the cashiers at Target. They
beamed with pride and showed off his picture in each of their lockets.
After a long search for the perfect name, we decided that
he was our Magnus. I had always liked this name and when we discovered it means
“strong warrior”, we knew we had found the perfect name for our perfect boy. We
busied ourselves preparing his room, filling his closet with adorable outfits
and shoes, and adding some cars, blocks, and balls to the toy chests. We
created a blog for our family and friends to follow our travels in China (www.threesistersandamister.blogspot.com) and
set out on the journey of a lifetime to bring Magnus home in January 2016. After
several incredible days in Beijing, we arrived in his city of Nanchang and
prepared to meet the newest member of our family the following day. Hours
before I looked into his eyes for the first time, I wrote him a letter and
posted it to our blog so family and friends could get a glimpse into my heart.
Magnus,
I have so much to show you and so much to teach you. But first
and foremost, I will teach you LOVE.
Because above all, that is my most important job in this world. To teach you
that you are so very loved and adored. That no matter what, I will be your
protector and not allow any more unnecessary pain to descend on you. You have
already had more than most people do in their lives and yours has been but two
years. My son (oh how good that feels to say!), I will move mountains for you.
None will be too great. We have a difficult and winding road ahead but with
your hand in mine, we will travel it together. Because in a couple of hours,
you will be alone no more. Never again. I promise to love you. Protect you. Hug
you. Kiss you. Make you laugh. Dry your tears. Teach you. Encourage you. Make
you feel special. Be proud of you, so proud. Never let you forget from where
you came nor your culture and heritage. I promise to give you wings so that you
may fly. And I will love you, Magnus Michael KeQin, until my dying day.
Mama
Our Family Day was
better than I could have dreamed or imagined! Magnus slowly walked to me and I gently
picked him up while kissing him on the cheek. He was quiet, calm, and stoic but
I could feel his heart working hard as it raced. He was so brave yet his eyes
were full of sadness, his body was drenched in sweat, and his breathing was
labored. I realized how very sick our baby was and I wanted to hurry home so he
could receive the medical care he desperately needed. As the day progressed, he
let us slip multiple layers of clothing off his tiny body but we stopped as we
reached his shoes which he adamantly wanted to keep on as security. The next
day was full of appointments as we bustled around the city. Finally, we were
all so happy to relax in our hotel room and played on the floor together for
hours that night. After hearing his sisters’ giggles for minutes at length,
Magnus cracked his first real smile and we heard him laugh for the very first
time. It started as a giggle and turned into an all-out “someone call a timeout
because I’m having trouble breathing” belly laugh. From that moment on, he
started to bloom and showed off his big personality.
We thoroughly
enjoyed our time in China and could have stayed three more weeks but knew it
was time to cocoon at home. Once back in St. Louis, Magnus had multiple
appointments with our pediatrician, cardiologist, and at the international adoption
clinic. His cardiac diagnoses were confirmed and we were informed he needed
open heart surgery within the next couple weeks to months. After extensive
research and countless prayers, we made one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever
had to make and decided to bring him to Boston Children’s Hospital for a full
bi-ventricular repair.
Mags and I arrived
the week before his surgery for pre-op appointments including a cardiac cath
and MRI. Mike arrived over the weekend and we celebrated my first Mother’s Day
as a mama of four! The big day (which I had both dreaded and looked forward to)
followed on Monday and though we were filled with some nerves, we had much more
faith in the One who led us to our son. As Magnus’s team wheeled him to the OR,
I knew we could be handing our precious boy back to his Father. And if it was
His will, we would learn to cope without being able to kiss those chubby cheeks
and lips somehow.
As we sat in the
waiting room, watching every other family get called back to see their child
throughout the day, we prayed fervently and knew our son’s heart was in Dr.
Sitaram Emani’s skilled hands. After nearly 10 hours, we were finally reunited
with our little hero and informed that everything went exactly as planned! In
Magnus’s CICU room, my eyes studied every part of his tiny body, focusing in on
his chest for it held a heart that miraculously was beating as it always should
have been. I wasn’t prepared to see how pink his little piggies and fingers were
as I stared at them in disbelief. Pink had become my new favorite color and I
couldn’t love it any more! And if that wasn’t enough, the nurse pointed out his
100% oxygen saturation on the monitor! Praise be to God, our baby’s perfectly
imperfect heart was now functioning at 100%! I stroked his arm, held his hand,
and told him how brave he was and that I was so proud of him. His little eyes
fluttered and opened at the sound of my voice. He showed off how much of a little
fighter he was and the nurse quickly increased his sedative so his body could
rest. For an extremely emotional person, I somehow found the strength just as I
did in China and did not shed one tear during his surgery or in the days to
follow. I know with certainty that it was because I put my full trust and everything
I had in the Lord.
The days to follow
were filled with the expected ups and downs which accompany the recovery of
such a big heart surgery. Despite being sedated, he charmed every person who
walked in his room, especially the nurses. Some were moved to tears after
hearing his story and were all anxious for him to wake but no one more than his
mommy and daddy. We missed his spunky personality, deep brown eyes, loud giggles,
and even his infamous growls. On post-op day two, his paralytic was lifted and
his breathing tube was removed. We were thrilled with our strong Superman to
say the least! He continued to do so well that he was moved to the step-down
inpatient unit two days later. His doctors and nurses were astounded with his
progress as they had prepared us to expect a three-week post-op recovery. After
only spending three days in the step-down unit, Magnus was ready to be
discharged to everyone’s shock and admiration. We walked out of the hospital
together and never looked back! Just as Mike
said to us as we left two weeks prior, he proved he was "Boston
Strong"!!
Ten
months have flown by since Magnus’s life was saved and he has continued to
blossom into the most wonderful son, brother, grandson, great-grandson, nephew,
cousin, and friend. Sure, we have some hard days because adoption IS hard. But
we have many more “time-of-our-life” days!
I have so many dreams for him in
this world and know he is destined for greatness, as is every child. Finding Mags
has changed me in ways that I never could have imagined. God led us directly to
him and when He called, we answered. Our moments of fear have been quickly
followed with answers of peace from Him…
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