To My Son

I have been keeping a diary of letters to Magnus since we began our adoption process on Easter Sunday in 2015.  I will keep those letters private but would like to post an open letter to him so that you have a glimpse into my heart right now.

Magnus,

My sweet baby boy!  My heart is bursting with anticipation, excitement, and fear for you.  We are both on the verge of having our lives turned upside down for the better.  We will get to an absolutely wonderful and glorious place but, sadly, there will be devastation and trauma first.  My heart breaks for you as you have no idea what is about to happen.  Everything you know is about to change and that is scary.  Different looking people who speak a different language and have a different smell are going to swoop you up and love on you.  Oh how we will love on you!  But you won't know the depth of our love.  We are strangers to you.  You haven't been staring at pictures of us as we have of you, falling more and more in love with you in each passing day.  I have so many dreams for you in this world.  You are destined for greatness as is every child.  I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us.  How you will amaze us.  How you will teach us.  How you will love us.  We are the lucky ones.  To have you as a son is a dream come true.  Our red thread was created two years ago and it will not be tangled and twisted anymore.

Finding you has already changed me in ways that I never could have imagined.  I am a very faithful person but never have I been more faithful as I am right now.  Our journey to you has brought me to my knees more than any other experience in this world.  God led us directly to you.  When He called, we answered.  Our moments of fear have been quickly followed with answers of peace from Him.  There is absolutely no way we could do this on our own so we put one foot in front of the other because of Him.  Our God is an awesome God and I cannot wait to introduce you to Him.  As I teach you to listen, you will know the love of our Father too.  And you will come to know that His love is greater than any other!

I now pray that God is working on your heart so you will not be so very fearful.  So you will realize that we are your mama, baba and jie jies quickly.  We have a long road ahead as we provide the love, care, emotional stability and medical treatment you need and deserve.  Put your five-point harness seatbelt on little one, we're about to go on an incredible ride! 

I love you Magnus Michael Keqin Duff!

Mama